After few weeks I have decided to publish this article, in the end, why not!? It it better someone says to you to fuck off while you fully adhere to your nature rather then then be admired for behaving like someone you aren’t.
Yes, today, the 15th of February 2018 I say stop, stop to the bullshits and teachings about love and hate that I have been taught, precepts that I have been trying to make my own commandments, teaching that I have obliged myself to swallow for years, the ones for which I have tried to shape myself with a constant and exhausting work.
I realize that phrases like everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart, hate in your heart will consume you too, love someone who hates you and the most unbearable one turn the other cheek are not for me anymore, and perhaps they have never been. A life spent to to flagellate my own nuts because my head pulled somewhere and the teachings in the opposite way. A life spent tormenting my head, always under pressure to follow the right taught and to pursue the right precepts, follow the right moral, the constant chase to try to catch up with my own happiness without forget to redistribute it immediately.
From where does it come the desire to dedicate a life to the exhausting fight against the ghosts of goodness, constantly stabbed by regrets, always marked by Fate‘s scares, always blinded by the unwholesome lights of being good at any cost, yes, from where this mindset come from? I am sick and tired of this and I am not even trying to answer to this question, yes, I don’t give a fucking shit to answer to this, at least not now.
What I know is that I am living this every day, live a young Prometeus, I find myself impaled, with my chest ripped up, destined to have my liver ripped off every day. I won’t wait for Heracles to be freed, I have broken the chains myself and this time the Gods’ eagle will find a different opponent, it won’t have an nice job this time, and if I will be strong, it won’t have a nice death too.
Here we are, let’s forget about the hate that will consume you too. On my skin and soul I am carrying the scares of humans cruelty and Fora too, and avoiding of fight back this with the same hate won’t bring any good anyway. Maybe to hate does not bear fruit on this world, ma assuages the spirit. It is a pleasant mindset to think that the evil can strike at any moment but you will feel pain only if it will strike someone next to your hart, you will not care about the others and, if it will strike someone you hate you can feel just an unexpected happiness.
A while ago I’d have been horrified by those words, just an asshole would dare to say so. Now? Now I cannot even think it is possible the opposite of those words. Foster your hate and always bring it with you, it is one of the few things that will help you when will need to understand clearly a situation, pay attention just to don’t be blinded from it, just let you hate to light you path. Hate back who hates you, hate who thinks you were just a moron, hate who thinks you are an incompetent, hate who think who plays dirty with you, simply: HATE! … and hate with the right measure.
Bits of happiness and uncertain future would say Tonino Carotone. Do not leave to the first of those the possibility to change your mindset and begin to think that the word is colored with pastel shades. World is painted with much stronger and gloomy shades, like the red of your flesh, pretended as by Fate as payment for your giving up on hate. If you do not belong, like me, to the righteous side, forget about the bits of happiness and focus on the uncertain future. A right measure of hate will make it less uncertain.
It’s sad. It is a very sad and grey mindset to think that hate is necessary. Then, is it this “grayness” a sufficient reason to give up with hate? No, it is not! If you are one like me, to try to live in a world painted with pastel shades can just bring you to a much darker scenario, do not even try. In the end, a grey mindset is better than a dark landscape, isn’t it!?
Transform your sadness in hate and us it to grow your happiness, it is possible and do not believe who says the opposite. Who pushes you to a wholesale love perhaps isn’t sincere like someone who has a hart ready to bleed for you, them hate, and hate your head.